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November 1st, 2013

Halloween this year was:

The Haunted Hayride:

photo 1

Decorating, and irrationally obsessing over collecting Lemax Spookytown houses:



Dropping by the insanely busy Underwood Farms to walk through a pumpkin patch, only to find the most cleverly shaped pumpkins are full of invisible thorns:


And a fun little pumpkin carving party:

photo 2 - Copy

IMG_4223 - Copy



And a few days later the last project I worked on was revealed. The best part about this is he made two people cry and he had people running away from him:



And lastly, and yet to come, is Dia De Los Muertos.

On the morning of Halloween, after a few days of stress I had this very short dream. I went outside the front of our house, and there on the lawn was a little white cat with an orange face. She was just hanging out happily cleaning herself, and being apathetic about my presence. As I tried to walk towards her I looked to my left and there was Itty Bitty. He was happy to be outside, with his tail up, and just hanging around until it was time to go explore with his new ghost-cat friend. And that was it. I woke up content, hoping that maybe if there is an afterlife, he’s haunting our yard, and wanted to say hello on Halloween. I hope he is out there, and that he knows how much he is missed every single day.



October 15, 2013

Holy crap it has been awhile.

October has been a transitional month for me in that it’s the first month I haven’t been walking around in pain for what felt like a very long time. I want to celebrate, it’s awesome! I found though, that with all the laying around and comfort food eating I just gained weight, lost strength and my normal flexibility. My energy is drained even on the most normal walk. This week I’ve done yoga a few times and intend to get back to normal again! I am not taking this healing for granted.

Many things happened in the last two months, including the loss of one of my favorite class horses Sprite. She was an older horse, so she had a long good life with some great people, and she showed me many things. Firstly being, how to not be scared. I always told myself I wouldn’t ride a Thoroughbred. She showed me that just like everything else I tend to be narrow minded about, I was wrong about Thoroughbreds in that I had just judged them all as too fast and amped up for me. Thank you to Sprite for proving me wrong, and showing me how awesome a Thoroughbred can be to such a scared little rider. I got to ride her the weekend before she passed away, and it was a great and happy ride. She’s someone I feel that I will always remember. Sprite

Jess and I did the BF Strut Your Mutt walk down at Woodley Park and even though it was incredibly hot, it was fun to get out and walk and to see all the dogs. We also got lots of free stuff including a tub o’ doggie peanut butter that miss Daisy absolutely LOVES. I made a bunch of mini cupcakes for the volunteers which was great, and after seeing them working and standing in the sun, they totally deserved them!

BF Cupcakes BF Strut Your Mutt

I visited my friend at a shelter and got to pet these cute little possums. It was such a cool experience. The babies are ridiculously cute, even though they’ve got some crazy teeth. Still, I have crazy teeth too so who am I to judge. It was great to see an old friend, and she’s one of those great animal friends who you always learn something new from.

Pasadena Humane

Daisy had the zoomies quite a few times this month, we spent a lot of time hanging out. I don’t think I can ever live without a dog after this!


And then I got sick, and ate a few bowls of Pho and spent a lot of time alone reevaluating my life and thinking of how lonely it could be if I don’t make more friends. At least the pho was freaking amazing! There I was complaining to myself and yet not emailing or calling people. This is something I need to work on.


When I felt better, it was time for Halloween decorations and Autumn cocktails:

The Pumpkin Divine,

Pumpkin Butter Cocktail


Witches Brew, (I love the way it looked!!)

Witches Brew Martini

and a Hot Apple Toddy.

Hot Toddie

I don’t enjoy selfies, well, unless I’m in a clown suit or in an awkward position, but I do enjoy drink photo shoots. It’s giving me another reason to enjoy the endless little artistic nooks we have all over the house.

This weekend, I’ll try the Maple Bourbon Drink.

I was asked to make a simple cake this past week with one of my favorite fillings – poppy seed cake with raspberry filling. I made a bit too much filling, and when carving the cake to get it level, I gladly disposed of it in my belleh. It’s hard to make a cool cake for a guy but turns out he loved it! His girlfriend ordered it, and he was thrilled about it!

Don's Cake 10-15-13

I got finished and moved right on to a costume commission for Pennywise. I finished it within three days of mad crazy sewing and it turned out pretty dang accurate. I will be able to post pictures of it after Halloween, once the whole costume is put together with makeup and everything.

I intend to make some new goals, and drop some of the ones that nag at me that I do nothing about. Things have been more simple lately, I kinda like it right now. Besides, there is a fantastic new American Horror Story season that just started. =D




August 27th, 2013

My busy little world has been constantly thwarted by our friend Cysty, who has overstayed her welcome. It has pushed me into being a bit of a pondering hermit.

I’ve spent a lot of time with myself lately, and without activities to keep my mind from wandering off into the land of analysis, I’ve found myself wanting to change my world and figure out exactly what I’m doing with my time. The funny thing is, I was doing a lot with my time, and a lot of it, happy fun things. I changed and changed and drifted far away from where I had started. This was a good thing in so many more ways than a bad thing. The only way it was a bad thing is that I forgot about my dreams of going to Jurassic Park, kayaking with killer whales, and diving with sharks. Well, while I await Jurassic Park to become a reality, I need to remember the other things.

I’ve been so focused on SO many things that I haven’t been able to progress in others. Riding for example, is starting to fade as I can’t do it right now. But deep down this little tiny sad spark is waiting to be re-ignited again, and I’m struggling through the pain to see the fire on the other side of this ordeal. Now that I have the power to save money, why haven’t I traveled to far off lands to see the animals I always wanted to see? Well, I don’t really have regret because I was still having a good time anyway. It’s just really a time of pondering on what and where I’ve been going. Work wise, I go nowhere, and I still haven’t “figured out what I want to be when I grow up”. I still don’t care as long as I can get by, save for the future, and have a better time than millions of other people suffering in the world (which, that thought, makes me think about how ridiculous it seems to complain about not being focused on dreams that I’m fortunate to even think I could realize in my lifetime). I would love a job that could either enhance my creativity, or save the world, one pet at a time. I’m proud that I have kept up my search consistently for an embarrassingly lonnnng time now.

Being slowed this much makes me feel like I do nothing, like I’ll be forgotten. However, you see who really hangs around or checks on you when you’re living in a hole somewhere, which is appreciated. A tiny email, a texted hello, it makes a world of difference. Which brings me to another analysis, of how I spend my time online. I saw this video this past week which ties into where I’m going with my thoughts lately:

I’m still on Facebook, because without it I feel like I will lose touch. Step one, weening myself off of it for the weekend. Thus far, I haven’t been able to do it, however, I celebrated my boyfriend’s birthday this past week, and I don’t really have any pictures from the actual celebrating. I did that to avoid posting them on Facebook, only to realize at this very moment that I forgot to capture anything for myself, and my personal collection. *DOH*!! Note to self….

On Thursday I made Chicken with Brie and Caramelized Onions, and decorated the living room with chicken balloons. My man thinks he’s going to be a farmer after he retires. While I can easily picture him talking to the fat hens that he will dance around with in the yard, and run in to tell me the  funny things they did, I’m not sure the farming lifestyle is close to our hearts. How ’bout that commune winery with a wine bar on site!!?? Well, we can all have our dreams can’t we? Oh, and the chickens, they are not hanging in the most flattering position because apparently, there is a national helium shortage. Who knew I’d ever have to deal with that problem? It certainly made a different statement than what I thought it would when it came to the chicken balloons…

Brian bday 2013

On Sunday we went to Gordon Ramsay’s restaurant at the London. The food was in the teeny tiny rich boy portions, but damn it was pretty good. The cocktails were all amazing!!! I highly recommend it for a special occasion.

I spent Sunday drawing a carousel horse, and cheating by projecting it onto my big 3ft x 4ft canvas. Well, if other can cheat with digital paintings, I can certainly project an image onto a canvas. It’s going to be purple, black and white, and hopefully, pretty awesome. My other carousel horse needs a friend.

carousel part deux

I had an evening cocktail of a Pumpkin Pie Martini to start the downturn of the weekend on Sunday night. I dream of Fall. But isn’t it funny, in Winter we dream of Spring, in Spring we dream of long Summer days, and in Summer we dream of pumpkin products in Fall. I don’t think I ever hope for winter though. However, never satisfied, that is the human way. It is good for progress and growth, bad for ever relaxing or feeling ultimately satisfied with yourself.

pumpkin pie martini

Now, who wants to try the pumpkin cheesecake martini? If interested, you know my email and my phone number, I still do exist.

Song of the week: Well, I don’t have one. I’m too busy listening to “Law and Disorder: The Legendary FBI Profiler’s Relentless Pursuit of Justice” from Audible, which is fascinating thus far. It’s horrifying in the cases that they review, however, it shows how you can’t be quick to judge the guilty because they may be innocent, and vice versa.

August 12, 2013


My bff’s birthday was this week and we enjoyed Dim Sum in Chinatown! It was soooooooo good, except for the chicken feet. *nudgenudge*

Sharifah Bday 2013

I made a few cakes in  a short amount of time, and thank goodness food isn’t affected quite like it is in Like Water for Chocolate.

cake 8-12-13b

Doggie cupcakes (not safe for dogs however)

cake 8-12-13c…and for those who love animals…

cake 8-12-13

A couple weekends back I made a Paso Robles vacation video. I realized that A) panning around on my camera is kinda stupid if you can just take pictures and use the video app to pan around without shakey hands and b) you may think it is boring. I’m hellbent on making videos of all of our trips because one day, I might really regret it if I don’t. 

When people ask me what I’ve been up to, I want to say shuffling around in misery, and playing Candy Crush Saga. Busty bursty ovary cyst for 8 days now and I’m trying to stay positive. It works sometimes but other times I swing into feeling frustrated mostly because it’s slowing me down. I feel like I want to run!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s all about that, I could go on for awhile, but it would be kinda super boring, frustrating, and I could only imagine someone reading this to care as much as I care about those who complain all day on Facebook. The point is, I’m being active about fixing it, but that involves waiting a few weeks which sucks.

Oh and today I took Candy Crush Saga off of my iPad. I’m well aware I can put it back, but here’s my attempt at stopping this waste of time. I won’t mention that it is still on my phone… Nope, I won’t mention that part.


July 23, 2013

As of last week I had finished up the Sansa Stark costume and off it went with Scarlett:

Scarlett - Sansa Dress

The dress is not an exact recreation. We didn’t want to use the expensive silk actually used on her dress, and thankfully, she wanted to pretty up the neckline which was a great idea. Perfect costume recreation accuracy is not my favorite thing to do. For instance, Victorian dress recreation – I am not one to follow the rules of which fabrics were used, which hairstyles were used, and most importantly, how little makeup was used! Id rather it be Victorian without all the rules. Thus far the only complaints have come from those requiring historical accuracy. I understand why you want to be accurate, but those boundaries are not for me.  In turn you get more attractive necklines, vibrant colors, and the modern day comfort of hiding tennis shoes under that fancy dress.

After finally having a girls night, incredible sushi (well, it tastes more incredible the longer you wait to have it again), and cleaning the house, I felt back to normal this weekend. I had plans to vegetate, but ended up getting on a project that’s been sitting in my office for years. I wanted to make a scrapbook of all of the places Brian and I have been. I collect and save lots of ticket stubs, hotel brochures, cards, and other little paper items from our trips over the years. It’s an incredibly boring book to any who look at it and haven’t been to all these events. With my bad memory, I can pull the memory up of the event the second I lay my eyes on any of these paper items. It triggers that memory right back into my mind. Since I assume my memory will only get worse with time, I’ll have all these books ready to remind of everywhere we’ve been, everything we’ve seen, and how much mileage we have on our relationship already.


The relationship of Drogo and Luna has slowly progressed over the past few weeks. Now they hang out and clean each other, which is fantastic! There were weeks when he’d crap in the hallway daily, and he didn’t even seem to like me, so it didn’t seem like I was taking care of someone I was 100% emotionally attached to. But now, he’s demanding I put down my ipad and sit next to him while he purrs and stares at me. He follows me into my office and lays on the bed hanging out with me while I write. I’m feeling our relationship grow and grow and am feeling more and more like he’s finding his place here. I remember daily that you can’t really expect a cat who was rejected a few times, stressed, re-homed once with new people, then re-homed again with new people to just love you even within a few weeks. It’s just such a relieving, accomplished feeling to see him slowly get confident here.

cats 7-23-13

Other than that, I came up with another idea to revamp my website… Do I have any real good reason for it? Probably not. I just hate appearing outdated.

Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd that’s all for this week!

July 17th, 2013

When I said I over-do it, and can’t sit still, I meant it.

July 4th was great- we gorged on fatty picnic food and wine, and chatted with friends. The fireworks show was even better than before! No picture can do it justice. I really have no great pictures, except one of the top of my friend’s heads and the perfect lighting as the sun goes down. Ahhhhhhhhh so refreshing. The highlights were the fireworks, partner hooping, and ending with 7 people in the car, searching the hilly golf course in a lowered car for lost cars in the endless parking lot that is the Rose Bowl.


The weekend after I spent working like a crazed lunatic on a coat I’m making for…. winter. Yep, it’s 100 degrees out and I’m making winter clothing deadlines for myself. Maybe I like stress. I mean I hate it, but I work a TON under it, like a warm, evil, productive blankie.

I jumped the craft room ship for awhile into a pool with friends Saturday evening. No stress, no drama, just napping, swimming, food, music, horrifying “would you rather” questions and.. shuttlecock.


The Sunday after I was cracked out again on sewing, and preparing for my next project, due a few days later, a nautical themed cake:

photo 2

This had to be done early, since I was leaving Friday for Paso Robles. Now with endless work at work, horse back riding on Wednesday, I crunched my time into a little ball and dealt with it. I was thrilled to get so many paid gigs in a small amount of time. By Friday, I wasn’t ready to leave town. I am always prepared days ahead and had to live with the idea that I wasn’t this time. But, I survived, I packed everything I needed, and I had a FANTASTIC time!

Friday evening, we arrived at our home rental at Berardo winery. So for $200/night including tax we got a whole house with a full kitchen and a patio. The patio overlooked vineyards and rolling hills, with a giant oak tree in the distance. We could see cows wandering their pastures far off in the distance, and would watch hawks soar above the endless vineyards. It was ridiculously cool. We went to the town, found there wasn’t much to do, and so we wandered into some antique shops and ate at a tapas restaurant called Estrella. The nice thing about Paso Robles is that it is not like Solvang, or Santa Maria. It has better food!!! Estrella was good, but not amazing. The ambiance is sweet though – dark with fancy chairs and small tables, with a front patio overlooking the city’s central park.

After dinner we rushed back to the vineyard to watch the sun set. It was amazing. The next morning we woke up early and Brian made us a terrific breakfast with groceries we brought in – eggs, bacon, and chocolate walnut waffles. Fruit on the side, and chicory coffee. It was an incredibly ideal vacation breakfast. You didn’t have to get up and wait in line at some popular brunch spot. You just get up in your jammies and walk outside to the picnic table overlooking the winery.

We headed out to the Estrella Warbird Museum which was full of awesome jets and helicopters. It had an eye opening armament, full of too many scary military vehicles and weapons, and a race car/classic car museum. When I was a kid my parents took us to an air show, complete and topped off with the Blue Angels. Since then the reality of what these amazing airplanes can do just blows me away, so it was fun to see them up close! I highly recommend checking it out.

photo 2

Afterwards we hit our first wineries, including Sculpterra. The place was full of amazing giant sculptures, specifically of big cats and horses (giant plus for me!). Unfortunately all the fancy landscaping out front was full of thousands upon thousands of bees and we had to rush our way through enjoying it.

photo 1

The wine? It was good at all the wineries. I just don’t think I have the refined palate to really be blown away by any specific one. I’m in this wine tasting thing to drink wine, see things, pretend I live in these places, and be outdoors running through beloved dirt and being drenched in sun. I love it.

We went home and snacked, and then headed back out to more wineries. To be specific: EOS, Sculpterra, Chronic Cellars, Wild Coyote, Halter Ranch, Whalebone, Hammersky and Grey Wolf.

In the pictures below, clockwise from left: Wild Coyote (mostly red wines – yummy port and cool decor), Wild Coyote’s view, with their own bed and breakfast atop a hill, Hammersky vineyards (dog friendly, great views), Wild Coyote’s teepee in front of their winery, and my favorite, Halter Ranch.

photo 3

Halter Ranch has this gorgeous old home on the property, with a big empty barn, and a wooden bridge stretching across a small creek. If you have time, click on the link of Halter Ranch tasting room pictures, it’s just beautiful. It’s out of the rolling dry hills and partially nestled in a tree filled area, and those trees are dripping with moss. It’s like a tiny taste of the South without having to go there.

Several of the wineries out there are cat friendly, having resident cats roaming about the tasting rooms or picnic areas. These particular wineries are memorable to me because of the cats. The pictures below, clockwise from the left: Whalebone winery, Grey Wolf winery (which had a few great white wines with NO aftertaste like the usual Chardonnay, they were dry and yummy like my beloved reds) which overlooks Eagle Castle Winery which we never made it to, and the rest being more pictures from Whalebone. The happy black cat on the counter threw himself on me and eventually nestled up in my arms and tried to fall asleep. photo 4

That evening we went to Artisan, the best restaurant in Paso Robles. By best I mean it, and this restaurant is just as good, and even better than some of your LA favorites. The food is the minimal plate fancy type, but so flavorful that you are so satisfied after you eat. The plates are between $20-$40 each and quite worth it.

Afterwards we went back to our little home, and wandered the vineyard. We hiked up the rolling vineyard watching the sun set. When we got back I heard a cat in the neighboring house meowing, and after speaking to it for a bit, it came out and hung out with us for a few hours. Just the cherry on top of the ice cream I tell you. The cute cat loved chatting it up, gettin’ pet, and then disappeared into the night later on. Below are some of my favorite pictures from the home. Sunset, my man, the happy cat, and a fantastic breakfast.  My home is where my cats are, and once that cat came out to chillax with us, we were all set.

photo 5

The next day we had our same yummy breakfast, and headed back down south, with a stop at Avila Barn. My riding class mates suggested I stop by this place – It was a good lunch time spot. It was a small farm with sandwiches and an ice cream shop, along with a farmer’s market. They’re famous for their pies, so I bought an apricot pie. They have all types – mixed berry, apricot, peach, peach blueberry, strawberry rhubarb – the list goes on. I would have taken a picture of the pie, but we ate it already. It was GOOD.

We got back, cleaned the cat vomit (because, ain’t that just what you come home to when you own cats?), and chilled out eating Tacos Michoacan.

The next morning it was right back to work with me. In the evenings I had to work on the Sansa Stark costume, because it had to be picked up Tuesday. I spent hours that night, and Tuesday finishing it up. I really messed up on the arms, and that has been one of my main sewing weaknesses thus far. If they’re loose, it’s no biggie, but if you want a flattering, fitted costume, it’s the bane of my existence. In the end, after hours of working on it, it turned out looking stunning on my friend who commissioned it. I cannot wait for photos. It’s the best Sansa cosplay yet, and the girl is a beautiful redhead as well, so I cannot wait to see it! So, that deadline is done, and I await pictures.

This morning I threw my neck out brushing my teeth. I called in sick because I couldn’t possibly drive and look over my shoulder. Instead I finished off my coat and though I probably shouldn’t have, I’ve got permanent ants in my pants. It’s something I really must work on.


Yep, I’m busy.



July 2nd, 2013

Last week I visited with a naturalist, and over the weekend I searched the vast valley (meaning, I went to two stores and it took what felt like forever to drive from one store to another) and found the homeopathic remedies and herbal remedies suggested by her. I’m not sure if they will work, but I’m gladly giving them a try. Colocynthis, Sabina, Dong Quai, Red Raspberry Leaves… I’m giving it a shot!

daisy 7-1-13

This weekend was hot, demonstrated by a beached Daisy above, so other than errands, I stayed in working on my motivation to get things done. I spent my Sunday morning at Joanns, pretending I didn’t have a job during the week, and that I had all the time in the world to shop for making things. I got the aye-okay and deposit on making the Sansa Stark dress for a friend, and within about two days, and a total of perhaps 6 hours, I was almost done:

sansa 7-1-13I just have to fit the dress to the person, sew on the sleeves, iron the crap out of it, and finish all of the edges. It’s not a perfect replica, but I’m damn proud of making a dress out of a modified pattern, for someone not my size at all. If this is the first commission, I’m going to hopefully get better at it, fast!

Today I found these pictures, of a cute older lady with her cat: 

I had an immediate feeling of ill sadness from missing Itty Bitty, but freakish happiness over the memory of the good I had. When he was an outdoor cat, he’d help my mom garden, dig where she dug, sit where she needed to be, climbed anything she set up. He followed me around, meowed at my window in the middle of the night so I could open it and he could jump into bed with me. I don’t have that anymore. I have some great cats, each for their own unique reason. I would never only want nice cats, or only sociable, or only one color.. I love the variety of personalities and shapes, but I do miss my one-on-one cat. I don’t know if you could have that relationship when you have multiple cats, I’m not sure it’s possible.

I stopped by BFLA tonight to hang out with the cats after a long day at work. There wasn’t much to do so I just hung out with the cats. In my mind I choose which ones I would take home if I could, imagining them hanging out in the sun drenched corners of our house, glaring at me as I walk by, enjoying the immense heat on their fur. And yet, I never see that reincarnated Bitty I hope to find. No, I don’t really believe in reincarnation, but I want to, because it’s fun and magical, and I can believe in or imagine anything I damn well please.

This week I started listening to the audiobook “Cirque Du Soleil, The Spark: Igniting The Creative Fire that Lives Within Us All”. It’s not a self help book, but it’s a story about a sports agent who wandered into a cirque theater one day, and it sparked this creativity and motivation in him that I have felt when I watch their incredibly inspiring shows. Sadly, an acrobat in Ka passed away this week during a cirque show. The show has incredibly dangerous acts, with most of them being several stories in the air. At least she was probably living her dream, which is more than most people achieve.

Repetitive, imaginative, fantastical song of the week: Loreena McKennitt – Marco Polo –





June 26, 2013


Okay okay. Thursday I went to the doc and got good news. I’m healing! I’m still bat shit crazy, but I’m healing! One more week of crazy and then I’m on to try the homeopathic and herbal remedy route to maintain the healing process. I have no guarantee that it won’t happen again, but while my body is in a mending stage, I’m going to try some natural ways to keep it there. Whoohoo!

After the doctor visit, I celebrated by treating myself to donuts! Oh man they taste so much better after victory!

donuts 6-2013

I mean, maybe I should be getting back to my everlasting struggle to working out because that will help my body too… but for now, donuts.

Thursday afternoon I got to hang out with some girls I haven’t had much hanging out time with. It was really nice to be in a new place, with new people. Sometimes its hard for me to come across as my absolute normal self when around new people I actually like. It’s been that way since I remember, but it’s getting better on my part (well, much better than being the quiet, socially crippled girl who couldn’t make eye contact with new people without feeling like I was going to have a minor heart attack years ago)  It’s slow going. Maybe I’ll be completely cool by the time I’m 87 years old. Yes!

I spent my free time running mad errands, cleaning like a daisy on crack, and planning for the weekend in general. Before I knew it, it was Friday night, we rushed off to our favorite sushi place Toshi, then picked up Brian’s mom from the airport. That evening we ate a fantastic 5-cheese plate from Artisan Cheese Gallery.  Honestly, for two people its quite filling, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to sit back and enjoy wine and cheese. I picked up cheese foccacia from PR Bread, and of course, WINE!

We stayed up late, and got up in the morning to head out to the Wildlife Learning Center. We took the Zoofari Tour again and met with the porcupines, foxes, and of course, the sloth. Feeding the porcupines never gets old.

Later in the evening we had Pace on Laurel Canyon for dinner. It’s right off the busy street, but it’s got a great atmosphere inside. Its cozy, dark, and full of energy. It was nice to show up early before it became crazy crowded by 8pm. It’s super loud at night but you definitely feel like you are somewhere full of life, yummy food, and good wine! I think everyone was pretty satisfied with their food, as I was. I am a huge fan of seeing the blue colors on green trees as the sun set, and we could see the trees just a little from inside, as the sun went down. There is a small outdoor patio as well, which I’d love to sit on the next time we visit. It’s definitely a good place to celebrate an anniversary or have a special date at. They also had an Octopus Table, which I will buy as soon as I win the lottery. Too bad I don’t play the lottery.

sylvia visit 6-2013

The next day we stopped at BFLA to say hi to the kitties, grabbed lunch, sat in the yard with the cats, and later in the day headed to the Magic Castle. By 11pm I was beat and I, being the young spry lad I am, asked to go home to go to nighty-town. It’s Wednesday now, and I’m officially running on fumes.

Today is also the three year anniversary of adopting little old Daisy! I don’t know what I was thinking on that day. I do know I was in the right place at the right time. And to think, gems like Daisy are put down everyday. I must be missing a ton of those “right place at the right time” moments all the time. All I know is that her being an ex mommy dog, and her wanting nothing to do with her shelter-mates in her kennel just called to me. An independent, wonky eared, giant teet little dog appealed to me. The first few months were rough, and full of “should I have done this???” But now I get it. I learned a huge lesson that you have to have patience with dogs, and you have to have a boyfriend who will bury cement blocks along all of the fences so your street dog will stop going for afternoon strolls.


Lastly, this is basically how I live my life, you like? Haha!:

tony stark

My song of the week:

Puscifer – Tiny Monsters. I love the build up, it reminds me of taking off on an epic drive..

June 17, 2013

I call this, the collage of despair.

work 6-15-13

And that is all I have to say about that.

Last week I found myself having problems even cleaning the kitchen. I was frustrated, and I felt abnormal. Though it seems like a slight detail of my life, it sucks not being able to easily motivate myself to do some simple tasks lately. Wash rinse repeat. Wash rinse repeat. It’s groundhog day. I need a reset trip.

I went to my riding class. The previous week I was kinda bummed out, and chose to blurt out my issues to my classmates and felt tons better. I still feel shitty, but just going to class, I feel better knowing someone knows. I rode Sapi, a horse I can barely ride in the arena, but on the trail, she’s in her element. She’s a beautiful sure footed mustang straight out of the wild. No tripping, no slipping. I had a beautiful time and thus far am liking learning more about the people in my class now that we’re doing trail rides.

riding 6-12-13

Thursday evening I made dinner. Hey, I can’t clean a kitchen and feel proud, but I can make dinner! I got trader joe’s pizza dough, and topped it with pesto, mozzarella, tomatoes, garlic, and arugula. It needs work, but I’m proud of making dinner. I used to more, when I had less intricate costumes and hobbies, and I’m glad my new routine may involve allowing time to make food. I’m not amazing at it though. It’s not one of those things where I make you something and you run and tell all your friends I’m a good cook… but I am proud!

dinner 6-13-13

Friday night was a girls only party, and I found my “dark passengers” didn’t feel so interested in having fun. I feel like these ovaries just send messages to my mind to hate everything lately. Saturday I was fatigued, and attempted to entertain the idea of another party I was invited to. I was greatful, to be invited to a party with a close friend, (so thank you repurposingmom!) and other girls I’d like to get to know, but I just couldn’t do it. I decided to strand myself on the couch,  wasting time on Facebook, debating dozens of times whether I should ban myself from the website for an extended period of time, but I can’t just yet. But why? I don’t know. The feeling that people will forget you when you are off of it, or, that you might not even remember them. I want to see what people are doing, I just wish I didn’t look so much. (Hahaha I love saying “I wish” when it’s something that is completely under MY OWN CONTROL!)

My pets, they surrounded me, and I loved that.

saturday 6-15-13

Sunday I woke up early for my cat care orientation at the shelter. A girl was there who had talked to me briefly while I had been on the search for the cat now known as Drogo. She was the one training me how to care for the cats there. I really liked her when I had talked to her months before, so I was happy that she was the one showing me the ropes, because I always get nervous in these new social situations. I’m just better at trying harder to not seem so awkward right off the bat. I spent a couple hours cleaning cages and an hour just hanging out with cats. Why did I fall in love with the one cat with liver issues? Isn’t that how I roll… He was amazing. So are the millions of displaced seniors, and I’m reminded why I’m here. I will admit it seems that cleaning cages daily would really start to wear on you, but when they’re all clean, and you get to visit with purring cats who jump back into their newly clean bed you feel good. They didn’t ask for this cage as their home, so why not clean it out and give them some moments of love during their long day of simply… existing.

I’m motivated to move forward in my development, and volunteering basically is giving me free experience, feelings of accomplishment and usefulness, all while making animal people/world connections. It can open doors to things I really want to do, and I never know where it will take me. Even if this only lasts a short time, I’m happy I’m doing it, experiencing things, learning about a world I have an interest in.

I ended the weekend by making dinner again, a nice fatty pasta full of peppers, pesto, chicken, and a bucket of deliciously potent herb olive oil. Comfort. Food.

dinner 6-16-13

Mein beloved songs of the week:

Longest Road – Deadmau Remix –

Varekai – Rebeus and Patzivota –

June 11, 2013

5-2013This is me, I’m hiding from June, and from social situations.

Actually, I’m excited that this past Saturday I went to the orientation for volunteering at BFLA. I cannot wait! When I was there I felt like I was doing something right with my time, even if I was just listening to someone talk. After the tour of the facility was over, I rushed off to check out the cattery. Low and behold an old friend was there. Zeus was a cat I saw mid-March at the West Valley Animal Shelter. I thought he was cool. He was a lover, with eyes that both looked in seperate directions, polydactyl, and a slightly scary tumor hanging off of his leg. Awhile later, when I was at Best Friends, there he was in the quarantine room. As happy as could be. I considered it, but thought against having another cat with a tumor, even if it was non-cancerous. The loss was too new. Then Saturday, three months later, there he was running up to me to say hi in the cattery. He was happy, mangled, yet unaware of his situation. I pet some other cats, always looking down to see his wandering eyes staring up *I think* at my face. I’m horrified by my needs. I can’t help it.


Horrified. Like someone needs to have a talk with me. I left him, reluctantly, remembering that nearly 100 people were going to show up at my house in a few hours. I mean, I love you guys, but I would have probably sat with him a few hours more while you had to use my dirty bathroom and had no ice in your beer coolers. The bbq, it had some great, fun times. The 1am-330am time slot was the best of the night. It’s fun, but it’s a lot of work. I’m still dealing with annoying pain and frustrating mood swings and had to run away to the craft room and nap with the Daisy for some moments before I said angry things for no reason that didn’t make sense. I’m glad others had great times though. And that’s my incredibly exciting recap.

For the bbq I made chocolate cupcakes with cookie dough frosting, and cinnamon cupcakes with maple buttercream. I actually looked up recipes which I hadn’t done in a long time. I felt like actually taking the time to research things..

bbq 2013 foodYou see when I moved in with my boyfriend, for awhile I was making dinners, stir-frys, baking more, and then other things got in the way. Horses, costumes, cakes for customers, painting, classes… etc.. Well cooking is just as much a hobby as anything else, and I hope to at least get a little bit more into it again. I’ve been opting for frozen dinners, and odd ball dinners made from random things in the fridge. I don’t feel satisfied.

I was thinking of what to make with our garden goods and thought of one of the most fattening ideas.. Fried green tomatoes:


The consistency is weird. But I LIKE it! A little soggy but fried on the outside, I really just have to slice them thinner to be better. Of course I’m off to a bad start, fattening up something that could be incredibly healthy and lean. I’m in a fat black hole where once you start you throw caution to the wind and keep spiraling downward into bad food decisions.

This week there are a lot of lady’s nights coming up, and then on Sunday is my cat care orientation. They require you have a 2 hour training to make sure you can actually take care of cats at the shelter. Then on Monday is a one on one that they suggest you have with their volunteer leader. That way they can get a sense of what you want to do while you are there. I look forward to it, and love their organizational skills already. I never know what will come out of this, and I’ll be glad to see Zeus again. That’s another thing, they are a no-kill shelter and I’ve proved it to myself, seeing that they have kept this cat that many people would never ever adopt based on his looks. Three months already, with all the care he needs. I feel great things about this organization. Do you think if I make a poster of his face and hang it in Brian’s bathroom he will know what I’m trying to say?


Song of the week:

Bjork – The Modern Things, because I should have bought tickets to see her at the Hollywood Bowl tonight, and because she talks about the irritating noises of dinosaurs. I mean, who says that? It’s great.